In line with this week's letter, I will make a comment on the problem with DOMAI and expectations. I have gotten a few letters recently about that. The problem is, as it is in so many areas in life, that you tend to see what you expect to see. Some do it as a career almost, but I am sure we all do it to some degree.
In the case of something that does not fit into the usual boxes, it is more pronounced. For instance if you are looking at a web site with nudity, you expect it to be about sex. If it isn't, what do you do about it? Many simple don't see it. Others tend to deny it. Still others learn. Some take a while about it, but that is fine.
Letter of the week, from Roberto:
As my membership comes to an end, I would like to thank you for running a site that portrays women as beautiful creations of nature and not as silicone-filled sluts, as they are portrayed on most other sites. I am disappointed that I cannot renew my membership, for lately I only have time once or twice a week to surf the internet, and I don't want to pay for something I'm not going to be able to use.
Before my membership ends, I would like to share something with you that I have given some thought to since I saw it on your website. About a month ago, I saw in the members section a question which inspired thought in me. The question was something along the lines of Is DOMAI an erotic site or is it a form of pornography? [It was if DOMAI is primarily a sexual experience. The consensus was No. - Eolake] If I would have been asked that question when I first found your site last year, I would have replied that it was just a softcore pornsite for guys to look at when they were feeling horny. Actually, that's why I happened to stumble across DOMAI. I was looking for a random site when I saw a link to a site that claimed to have "tasteful nude photos of beautiful girls." "What could be tasteful about chicks spreading their legs open?" was my first thought. Nevertheless, I clicked on the link. To my surprise, I was looking at a page that showed nude girls in a way that didn't make them seem like whores.
My first impression of the site caused such a great stir in me that I kept coming back to the site. As I saw the Beauty of the Day and as I read the weekly newsletters, my concept of what nudity was changed drastically. I had always seen nudity as being attached to sex. Society in general seems to attach nudity to sex. Our society, even though frighteningly liberal, still seems to cringe away from the natural form of the human body. We see nudity as taboo; as something which is there but should be avoided like the plague. This problem has been around for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Michelangelo was harshly criticized for the painting of "The Creation" because it showed nudity. Lady Godiva caused an uproar when she rode naked. That was long ago. Today, people get arrested for being naked in public. Society calls it "indecency." Why is it considered indecent? Because society thinks "nudity-sex, sex-nudity" Recently I read an article on DOMAI about two women who were arrested for indecency when they were jogging naked. The charges were dropped because the arresting officer could not see their genitalia. That is true for women, but what about men? Men's genitalia are external, so men could not be released so easily. Does this mean that newborns will be considered indecent because their genitalia are exposed?
Not only did my concept of nudity change, but also the way I had always looked at girls seemed natural to me. Ever since I can remember, I have always looked at girls, young and old, thin and fat, tall and short, in a way that some have deemed to be too insistent. I always had thought that there must be something wrong and that it wasn't normal for me to look at women that way, but every time I saw a woman I just felt compelled to contemplate her, to admire her. What I thought when I looked at women wasn't necessarily a sexual libido, but it was more of an insatiable thirst for beauty. Growing up in a stereotypically Chauvinist society, I felt like there was something wrong with me; that I was almost required to look at a woman as a sexual object. However, I had never seen them as sexual objects, but instead I had always looked for the beauty in them. Up until the time when I started frequenting DOMAI, I thought surely I must be the only man in the world who thought that way. What DOMAI did was to give me a confidence to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way about women; that I can be proud to say that I'm a Dirty Old Man.
I don't think that being a DOM is a bad thing, but instead I think that I can enjoy life more fully than, say, my friends who, when a pretty, well-proportioned girl walks by, go wild saying things like "That's a nice piece of ass!" or "Man, I'd like to hit that!" I, on the other hand, just admire a girl for whatever special quality she may have, whether it is a pretty smile, a full chest, or a pair of eyes that seem to dance playfully. I think that admiring something for that is obviously there instead of looking deeper for something to admire is only fulfilling to an extent, because some of the best things are hidden from plain view and require some thought. For example, although there is not much beauty in an oyster, if we look inside we might find something as beautiful as a pearl. If we didn't bother to look inside, we might miss the beauty that is not obvious.
Once again, thank you for having this site for people who have beauty, not sex, as a target. I will greatly miss the members update twice a week. On more than one occasion my day has been brightened by looking at a girl filled with radiant beauty posing in a natural state. Although I may not be a member of the site for a while, I will always be a Dirty Old Man.
Best Wishes, Roberto
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The pictures are from recent pages in the members' section.