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The Nude Avenger saves United Amalgamated
By Eolake Stobblehouse

"Look, up in the sky!"

"It's a bird?"

"It's a plane?"

"It's Venus de Milo?"

"It's the Nude Avenger!"

The citizens of Kriminopolis looked excitedly to the sky to take in the sight of the city's famous champion, streaking between the skyscrapers on the way to a new battle scene, her lithe form unclad as usual. Children squealed, women Oooh'd, and men swooned.

In the lobby of the city's fine old bank, United Amalgamated (motto: "You can trust our money, we made them ourselves"), seven nasty looking villains were making their escape with a loot of many thousands of dollars, threatening to cripple the bank's doubtlessly fragile bottom line. This sort of thing is naturally viewed as a life-or-death issue by the authorities, and many innocent bystanders are killed every year in fully justified firefights between robbers and the city's finest. (KPD motto: "Don't worry, we're on your side. Really. Honestly.")

Today though, help was forthcoming! As the robbers tried to make their villainous escape, they found their way to their escape car blocked by the shapely form of the Nude Avenger.

The seven miscreants stopped short. They hesitated. They issued various comments upon the situation, such as: "Huh," "Gee," "Oh boy", and "Va-va-voom!"

Then their leader stepped forth. He was clearly the supervillain, for he had an ornate costume with a cape and an iron mask. "What are you waiting for, you cretins," he bellowed. "Shoot her!"

"But boss," whined one of his minions. "She is really, really strong."

"Yeah," chimed in a colleague of his. "And she is too pretty to shoot!"

"Durnation, do I have to do everything myself?!" grumbled the big chief, and stepped forward, pulling out a big ray gun and pointing it at the Nude Avenger.

NA just looked at him and smiled, and then she put one arm over her head, and one on her hip, in the classic model pose. She visibly concentrated, and it seemed like she began to glow.

"Oh no, boss, she is using her Super-Beauty (TM)!"

The big villain was like frozen. The Avenger's inner light grew and grew, and it was like the sun was coming out. Her beauty outshone everything, and everybody were enthralled. Even birds stopped dead in the sky, and dropped like little rocks.

After a minute, all the evildoers were on their knees, drooling, including the leader, his gun dropped on the sidewalk.

Fortunately the better amongst the recently-arrived police had experience with Nude Avenger's powers, and so they had shielded their eyes and hidden behind cars. Now they stepped forth and confiscated the guns from the offenders and cuffed them.

The chief of police turned to the Nude Avenger: "Good job, NA. Thanks to you, the bank's shareholders can sleep easily another night!"

"Oh, no prob," cooed the Avenger. "I am just disappointed that they gave up so fast. I did not even get to use my Fluttering Eyelashes (TM)!"

Everybody had a good laugh.


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